I am “a survivor” she declared. Like a vietnam vet with PTSD. great.
Yesterday my therapist finally had her own breakthrough moment with me. She suddenly understood my life a bit more and my reasons for many of my actions, feelings, motivation, etc.
I come from a long line of survivors. The reason for lack of posts as of late is because I had to go see my 91 year old grandmother in Ca. She not only survived the Holocaust, but her fifth heart attack.
But is this survivor surviving? Is survival enough for me? What does survivor and survival really mean? I write this as millions are being foreclosed and I am figuring out my own future. Yes, I survived a trauma with my child unlike any other.
I am tired of feeling like I have just survived. I want to feel like I am beyond just getting by or through-still in survival mode. I am in many ways. I am calmer. My stress level should be way up right now, but it is down. i feel a calmness unlike anything I have before.
